Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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