i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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