We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Shitshow foam night was such a success
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
