he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
