The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
