Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
