ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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