Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
