Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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