these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
