We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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