We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
