it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
