It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
