You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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