you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
