Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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