i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
