i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
