i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Your tits are I can't wait for
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
