google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
