I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
