I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
