I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
