Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
