fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
