Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your cock deserves a montage
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
