i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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