Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
