i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
MIDGETS
????
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
