i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
