Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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