Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
