i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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