You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
