I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
