I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at about main and main street
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
