Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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