CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
