I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
