Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
