Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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