Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
