What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
