I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
