Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
