Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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