kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
