Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
