I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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